25 May 2008

One of those conversations

We've all had them... At least I hope we have. You know, those mental exchanges with our creations when they've begun to take on a life of their own?

Me: We need to find you a name.

Creation: (silence)

Me: What do you think of "Ember"?

Creation scoffs almost audibly.

Me: Ok, you don't like Ember... What about "Singe"?

Creation rolls eyes but still refuses to comment.

Me: Hmmm... "Scorch"?

This prompts Creation to finally break the silence. "Do you see a Ty, Inc. tag on my fuzzy green butt?"

Not liking the direction this is going, I decline to point out to Creation that he does not, in fact, have a butt. Instead I just start throwing out a list of possible names pulled from my mental thesaurus... Charcoal, Simmer, Braise, Broil, Brûlée... (Starting to get just a little frustrated, I take a deep breath to begin rattling off more words/potential names.) Immolate, Flare, Ign--

Creature interrupts: Go back! There was one back there I liked.

Me: Please tell me that it wasn't "Immolate" I was really only being sarcastic about that one.

Creature: No. (Eyes roll as if to suggest that **I'm** the idiot here.) Brûlée! I like that. It's perfect. I've always wanted to be a "Green Brûlée!"

I groan in pain and then look sternly at the creature in front of me. "Do you really want to go to your intended home?"

Creature/Brûlée: Um, Yes!!!?!

Me: You might want to rethink that joke.

Brûlée: Why?

Me: They have a different language there. I'm not sure how well your horrid pun will translate.

Brûlée: Oh, come on. You've got to be kidding. I've haven't been around for even 12 hours yet and I know about the Green Berets. It can't be that obscure.

Me: I'm so glad that you won't be sticking around, Brûlée. I really don't think that we're destined to get along.

I'm thinking that including the creature in discussions about its naming may have given him a slightly too high opinion of his own self-worth. What I should probably be thinking instead is that I'm losing my mind and should really seek professional help.


LittleWit said...

Well at least your creations talk back. Mine just stare at me, unapologetically. Green Brûlée is quite the fun name though. Of course all I could think of was crème brûlée but I might just be hungry :)

Andi said...

Brûlée was suggested as a possible name because it means "Burnt"... I'm personally **VERY** fond of crème brûlée. It may actually be one of my absolute favorite deserts. And, hey, who can pass up a chance to take a propane torch into the kitchen?!?!