25 May 2008

One of those conversations

We've all had them... At least I hope we have. You know, those mental exchanges with our creations when they've begun to take on a life of their own?

Me: We need to find you a name.

Creation: (silence)

Me: What do you think of "Ember"?

Creation scoffs almost audibly.

Me: Ok, you don't like Ember... What about "Singe"?

Creation rolls eyes but still refuses to comment.

Me: Hmmm... "Scorch"?

This prompts Creation to finally break the silence. "Do you see a Ty, Inc. tag on my fuzzy green butt?"

Not liking the direction this is going, I decline to point out to Creation that he does not, in fact, have a butt. Instead I just start throwing out a list of possible names pulled from my mental thesaurus... Charcoal, Simmer, Braise, Broil, Brûlée... (Starting to get just a little frustrated, I take a deep breath to begin rattling off more words/potential names.) Immolate, Flare, Ign--

Creature interrupts: Go back! There was one back there I liked.

Me: Please tell me that it wasn't "Immolate" I was really only being sarcastic about that one.

Creature: No. (Eyes roll as if to suggest that **I'm** the idiot here.) Brûlée! I like that. It's perfect. I've always wanted to be a "Green Brûlée!"

I groan in pain and then look sternly at the creature in front of me. "Do you really want to go to your intended home?"

Creature/Brûlée: Um, Yes!!!?!

Me: You might want to rethink that joke.

Brûlée: Why?

Me: They have a different language there. I'm not sure how well your horrid pun will translate.

Brûlée: Oh, come on. You've got to be kidding. I've haven't been around for even 12 hours yet and I know about the Green Berets. It can't be that obscure.

Me: I'm so glad that you won't be sticking around, Brûlée. I really don't think that we're destined to get along.

I'm thinking that including the creature in discussions about its naming may have given him a slightly too high opinion of his own self-worth. What I should probably be thinking instead is that I'm losing my mind and should really seek professional help.

2 comments:

LittleWit said...

Well at least your creations talk back. Mine just stare at me, unapologetically. Green Brûlée is quite the fun name though. Of course all I could think of was crème brûlée but I might just be hungry :)

Andi said...

Brûlée was suggested as a possible name because it means "Burnt"... I'm personally **VERY** fond of crème brûlée. It may actually be one of my absolute favorite deserts. And, hey, who can pass up a chance to take a propane torch into the kitchen?!?!