04 February 2007

Exploring Self-Esteem

I have a cold. I always feel sorry for myself when I'm sick. Actually, the whole family is sick today. Sprout has been wonderfully energetic and playful all day. Her daddy even went to the grocery store to pick up much needed provisions... I, on the other hand, watched the puppy bowl until Sprout dozed off for a nap, and then cleared off 3 episodes of Law & Order off my DVR while she slept. (Oh, and browsed the internet doing research and finding images for the collage below.)
At the base of this collage is a photo of me, digitally altered to show what I'd look like with a beard. It's a long story, but suffice to say that PCOS (the condition which contributed to my difficulty conceiving and carrying a baby) can lead hirsutism. I lack the courage to stop obsessing about the whiskers on my chin and, more alarmingly, sprouting up around my nipples to tickle my daughter's nose while she nurses... I lack the courage, even, to post the self-portrait without layers of ephemera to obscure it, and hide my hideous secret.

2 comments:

Daria de la Luna said...

Neat collage! I understand what you mean about feeling weird about revealing your secret...the tweezers are definitely my friends these days. I don't think I have PCOS, but I have definitely been finding little bristles popping up on my chin now & again. Most distressing. I tell J that if I am ever in a nursing home, she must bring tweezers when she visits.

Sorry you're sick!!!

Grandma Flea said...

My family are blessed with heavy facial hair especially as we age. Both my mother and grandmother shaved when they were older - but I think it makes it worse.

It's long been my theory that our pubic hair migrates to the chin and underarm hair to the top lip! When you are in your 60s you'll know what I mean! I started waxing only a couple of years ago and recommend it heartly. Save the tweezers for the inbetween hairs that appear. It definitely slows the growth - I can go for a couple of months now between visits and the hairs that do appear are much finer with the odd exceptions.

One of my daughters has PCOS and won't remove the hair - I think this is both a political statement and a challenge to others to accept her as she is - it seems to work for her.

I'm so glad you have a beautiful little child despite all.

Get well soon.